Archive for the ‘bizarre’ Category

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Moses was Trippin’, Yo!

March 4, 2008

Okay, so I was totally going to blog about this, but Benji Lovitt did such an amazing job, that I’m just going to paste a link to his blog: http://www.whatwarzone.com/2008/03/haaretz-gets-in-touch-with-their-inner.html

The short gist of it, a professor at Hebrew University thinks that Moses was high on drugs when he was on Mount Sinai. Just read Benji’s version – it’s just too funny.

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Exaggerated Conspiracy Theories

November 2, 2006

I’m sick and tired of people complaining all the time.

I’m sick and tired of people making excuses.

I’m sick and tired of people blaming others for their mistakes.

I’m sick and tired of people not owning up to their actions and consequently resigning their posts.

But more than anything, I’m sick of conspiracy theories, more specifically the Jewish ones.

I’m sick and tired of people blaming the Jews for everything. If something is wrong, blame it on Israel. It’s like in my old job, when I worked in television. I dealt with everything that had to do with the tapes, and there was a producer who didn’t like me very much.

Every time that something would go wrong, she would blame me, even if it wasn’t my fault. The highlight was when the soundman accidentally pressed a button that made a fart sound go off on live TV. When we were off air, the producer yelled at me.

So I yelled back. Do I look like a sound man?! WTF?!

The point of my rant is this: today I saw that the Daily Star in Lebanon said today that Israel’s attack on Lebanese factories was due to us losing bids to them in the international market.

In what world would a country lose hundreds of lives for milk?! Are you insane?! Okay, so maybe the folks got pissed, but get real! No one would call the army to bomb a city because of a lost bid to sell dairy products to UN forces in Lebanon?

As opposted to some countries we know, Israel values the life of its citizens, and would never consiously put them at risk.

Especially not for cottage cheese.

Get real.

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Lebanon War Causes Pot Prices to Spike

October 31, 2006

I kid you not. Another casualty of the Lebanon War – pot prices have increased 8-fold due to increased border security both in the north and the south.

Apparently the border with Lebanon has long since been fertile ground for drug trafficking into Israel, many times with full cooperation between Israeli citizens and the Hezbollah on the other side of the border.

Who says Israel and the Hezbollah can’t co-exist? All we need to do is legalize pot.

Or, actually, keep it illegal.

This post is dedicated with love to Fizz. 🙂

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Israeli Defence Forces Present: Anti-Missile Tables

October 26, 2006

This ain’t no joke, folks. Due to the enormous amount of missiles being launched at Israel, the IDF has decided to place concrete tables in classrooms across Ashkelon. In the event of a missile launch at Ashkelon, students would be able to hide under their tables.

Sderot, which has been hit significantly more times than Ashkelon, already has fortified classrooms in all their schools.

The problem with Ashkelon, however, is that there are too many schools in the city, therefore making them safe will take years.

Ahskelon schools all have shelters in them, however the ones in the south of the city are old and don’t have enough room for all the students.

The problem in the newer schools isn’t much better, seeing as the shelters are too far away for the children to reach them with the short (under a minute) warning system that is currently in place.

Click here for a full article about this from Ynet.

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Transvestites to Use Little Girls’ Room

October 24, 2006

* Personal note: This has NOTHING to do with the subject of my blog, but I thought it was important to get it out there. I never knew this was even an issue. Never thought about it. 

The line for the girls’ room just got longer.

 Men who live as women can now legally use women’s rest rooms in
New York’s transit system under an unprecedented deal revealed yesterday.

The Metropolitan Transportation Authority agreed to allow riders to use MTA rest rooms “consistent with their gender expression,” the Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund announced yesterday.

The group filed a complaint against the MTA on behalf of a 70-year-old telephone repair technician who was arrested for using the women’s room at Grand Central Terminal.

The technician, who is assigned to the terminal by Verizon, was born Henry McGuinness but now goes by Helena Stone.

“I’m a 24-hour woman,” Stone declared proudly. “I just feel like a woman and I like to wear women’s clothes.”

The MTA would not comment on the settlement but Stone’s lawyer said it also includes mandatory transgender sensitivity training for MTA employees and a $2,000 payment to the technician for legal fees.

Michael Sullivan, Stone’s lawyer, called the settlement of the complaint with the Human Rights Commission a “milestone” toward recognition of the city law that prohibits discrimination against transgender men and women.

But some Metro-North riders at Grand Central yesterday were stunned by the ruling. “I would not like that,” said Gloria David, a retiree from
Connecticut. “I have nothing against gay men or drag queens, but they can use the men’s room. I just don’t want to go to the bathroom next to a man.”

One rider feared predators might dress as women and lurk in the women’s room. But Rena Gantz, 23, a college student, shrugged off the settlement.

“It doesn’t bother me because it is a reality,” she said. “If they believe they are women, they should be treated as one.”

From New York Daily News http://www.nydailynews.com/news/v-echo/story/464637p-390955c.html

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Ahmadinejad to Iranians: Be Fruitful and Multiply

October 23, 2006

Yes, you read right. Ahmadinejad has taken time away from making frightening anti-Israel, anti-American and anti-anything-that-isn’t-Arab statements and has instructed Iranians to multiply.  

Most Iranians have 2 children nowadays, an unofficial Iranian tradition that began due to the large rise in population in the 1980s after the Islamic Revolution of 1979. 

Ahmadinejad opposed to this tradition and has encouraged his people to have more than two children, claiming that the country of 70 million can easily hold another 50 million citizens.  He says that the west (western civilizations) has problems, and since they have a negative population growth, they are worried and afraid that if our population grows, we will rule them.” 

Those of you who can’t get a Greencard – you can move to Iran. They have room for another 50 million. I hear they have tons of oil there. J Gas will be cheaper.

For the full article in Hebrew, click here.